Random Thoughts Thread (which might include discussion)

[Biff Tannen]

My wants to go see the Detroit Demolition play this saturday. She is serious about this.

Just Say No.

[JarvikLess]

Saw a man snoozing at Starbucks this morning. Two (2) empty coffee cups next to his bed/chair. It was 7:00am. Already a tough day for him?

[The Black Hand]

Just Say No.

I did. She is not budging on this. Why would anybody pay to see this freak show.

[Biff Tannen]

I did. She is not budging on this. Why would anybody pay to see this freak show.

Have her take a friend, and promise to do something else w/her a different day.

[wingnut5]

So I'm searching through myspace and I type in my nephews name. Sure enough I find his myspace page and I'm checking it out over the last month to see how he's been doing.
A little background on this situation needs to be told first...My sister basically screwed my brother & I after my Dad had passed away. She ended up with everything without going through probate and such. My brother & I didn't have the $$ needed for an attorney to persue the matter. Anyway, to make a looong story short, she has basically disowned us and has made sure everyone in Canada and her son know how terrible her brother & sister are.
Here's my question. Do I send him a Wedding present? I've always loved this kid and my kids miss him something fierce. What would you do? Drop it? Try and reach out to him? I'm at a loss right now.
Kathi

[Fletch]

So I'm searching through myspace and I type in my nephews name. Sure enough I find his myspace page and I'm checking it out over the last month to see how he's been doing.
A little background on this situation needs to be told first...My sister basically screwed my brother & I after my Dad had passed away. She ended up with everything without going through probate and such. My brother & I didn't have the $$ needed for an attorney to persue the matter. Anyway, to make a looong story short, she has basically disowned us and has made sure everyone in Canada and her son know how terrible her brother & sister are.
Here's my question. Do I send him a Wedding present? I've always loved this kid and my kids miss him something fierce. What would you do? Drop it? Try and reach out to him? I'm at a loss right now.
Kathi

Since there is no problem with the kid, it may be a good idea, plus it shows that it is his mother with the problem. Were you invited to the wedding? I assume not, but just asking. They might be annoyed that you were "spying" on them, but oh well, it is a public place - I only mention this because it happend to my wife and I with some of her family.

[wingnut5]

I wasn't invited, and I haven't talked to him since 05. I've thought about calling him because my son really misses him, but whenever I've let Ty call his aunt, she hasn't returned his phone calls and it hurts him alot.
Something similar like this happened when my grandpa passed away. My sister and her husband at the time talked my grandpa into giving them the duplex they lived in when he had passed away. It pissed my aunt & uncle off because it wasn't fair to the rest of the grandchildren. I missed my uncle terribly and about 1 week after I got my drivers liscense, I drove out his place in Wixom. He was happy to see me , but told me he didn't want me to get into trouble with my parents. He never explained why the family had a falling out until after all this mess with my sister. My mom and her family eventually came back to one another, so I'm hoping there is someway our family can get past this. It's all so stupid, but knowing my sister, she will never talk to me again
Anyway, what do I do?
Kathi

[JarvikLess]

The dispute isn't between you and your nephew so you shouldn't be punishing yourself/him. Try to make contact only with him. You can do this by waiting until until after he is married and moved into his own place.

Drop him a note (email, snail mail) letting him know you are thinking of him.

Send the happy couple a gift and congratulations.

If you want relationship with your nephew restored you will need to extend yourself. There is some distrust as there has been limited (no?) contact in nearly two years. Do not pressure him, do not become overbearing, and try not to inform him of your children's feelings until AFTER he has indicated a willingness to reconnect. I say this only to protect against the accidental guilt trip.

Good luck - nothing more important than family.

Regarding the other "relationship", you may wish to try to reengage if it is important to you. Obviously there is a ton of hurt/pain/tension, but something made them act they way they did. Try to understand their reasoning (for good or ill) for their acts instead of focusing on the acts. Again, YOU will need to extend yourself, expose yourself.

[wingnut5]

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I will send him a card and let him know I stll think of him all the time, as do his little cousins. The worst that can happen is that he tells me to bugger off, right? At least I will know that I tried to reach out to him, and if he tells me off, then I will wait until he reaches out, which I have a feeling he will when my sister is gone, or if she shows her true colors to him.
My Mom would be freaking out if she knew what was going on. So much for last wishes being upheld...sigh...
Thanks again!
Kathi

[tommyz]

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I will send him a card and let him know I stll think of him all the time, as do his little cousins. The worst that can happen is that he tells me to bugger off, right? At least I will know that I tried to reach out to him, and if he tells me off, then I will wait until he reaches out, which I have a feeling he will when my sister is gone, or if she shows her true colors to him.
My Mom would be freaking out if she knew what was going on. So much for last wishes being upheld...sigh...
Thanks again!
Kathi

To me, there is no doubt that you reach out..If you get a good response, all it does is make everyone happy..If you get no response then it is what it is..You tried and cannot be faulted for that

[BubblesTheLion]

I shake your left hand.
Because I know what you do with the right.