Let's make sure his cell phone can't take pictures, just to be safe. Moving to no. 9, let's agree that it would be hilarious if Joe Dumars dumped Ben Gordon and took Austin Rivers 24 hours later. We're halfway there. Do it for comedy's sake, Joe D.
Anyway, everyone has Detroit taking UNC shot blocker John Henson even though he's 6-foot-11 but only weighs 216 pounds … which means he only weighs six more pounds than Grantland's Dave Jacoby. Who's in good shape, by the way. And probably has a more reliable offensive game than John Henson. The whole thing makes me nervous. I can't think of any super-skinny shot blockers under 7 feet who actually made an impact in the NBA. I thought long and hard about getting kooky and taking Illinois center Meyers Leonard. He's 7-foot-1, he's 20 years old, he's shockingly athletic for a white dude, and it sounds like someone accidentally reversed his name. There's just a lot to love. Then I saw Leonard's ranking on Hollinger's Draft Rater. Ouch. (Can I trade this pick? I can't? Crap.) I'll begrudgingly take John Henson. Repeat: begrudgingly.
Yeah, the Pistons are screwed. They need a big, athletic center to pair with Greg Monroe, and those guys are so rare, they're never going to get them where they're drafting and don't have the goods to find one in free agency. So they can either (a) take the elite shot blocker who is too skinny to play in the paint, or (b) the big, physical guy with maturity issues who doesn't scream "NBA starter." I'd take Henson, too. But it's by default right now. All the teams trying to trade up don't have athletic bigs to offer, either.
Plus, the Pistons just gave a future no. 1 pick to Charlotte just so they could flip Gordon's contract on Charlotte for Corey Maggette's Expiring Contract. Anytime MJ just beat you in a deal, you know you've hit rock-bottom. Pistons fans need an uplifting Eminem/Chrysler commercial and they need it now.