Woman steals car, decides to take a crap on the side of the highway, in view of traffic

[SportsFromA2]

ahh, Florida.

It could be said Florida Highway Patrol Trooper P.E. Oneyear smelled something was amiss.

Patrolling northbound Interstate 95 April 7, Oneyear noticed a vehicle on an emergency shoulder with a woman squatting beside it with her pants down, according to recently released records.

She was pooping.

The accused roadside bowel mover was six miles south of I-95's St. Lucie County Rest Area, which has restrooms, picnic tables, pet exercise areas and outside night lights, among other amenities, according to the Florida Department of Transportation web site.

Queried as to what she was doing, the woman said she was going to the bathroom.

The trooper asked for her license, but she said she didn't have it on her. She gave a name of Mellisa Mansfield and other identifying information, but couldn't give an address. Officials researched her name and suspected Mansfield, 31, was driving without a license, records state.

Investigators determined the vehicle was stolen from Key West.

After being spotted defecating beside a federal highway next to an apparent stolen vehicle, Mansfield said, "I'm not trying (to) go to jail tonight."

She said the vehicle belonged to her boyfriend, whose name she couldn't provide. Dispatchers contacted the vehicle's owner, who said he didn't know Mansfield. He said the vehicle was parked at his Key West home. He went to get something, and when he returned it was missing.

Mansfield was arrested on charges including indecent exposure, vehicle theft and operating a motor vehicle without a valid license.

The records did not state whether toilet paper played a roll.

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat...d-be-said.html

Melissa Mansfield, 31, was literally caught by police with her pants down, having been spotted earlier this week by a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper moving her bowels while shielding the deed with the door of the car she'd apparently stolen.

She was just six miles away from a proper rest stop.

The police report filed by Patrol Trooper P.E. Oneyear nicely captures the uncomfortable scene that played out on April 7th when Oneyear noticed a black vehicle pulled over on the shoulder of I-95 in St. Lucie County (you can read it in full here).

"… I clearly observed a white female squatting on the passenger side of the vehicle with her pants down below her knees defecating with moderate traffic flowing she had no expectation of privacy due to the fact she did open the rear passenger door to shield herself from the view of oncoming traffic. I asked her what she was doing and she stated "I am going to the bathroom."

From there things really go down the tubes, somehow. The "very nervous" woman identified herself as Melissa Mansfield but couldn't produce a license nor explain why she had the car other than to say she borrowed it from her boyfriend.

Trooper Oneyear had the dispatcher call the car's owner in the Keys and he said he had no idea who the woman was or why she had the car. The report also mentions beer bottles in the car that were cold to the touch.

Mansfield told the officer "I'm not trying [to] go to jail tonight."

As with her impromptu squat-popping, Masnfield was not successful and was booked into jail on charges of indecent exposure, driving without a license, and felony car theft.

What a crappy day.

http://jalopnik.com/5901798/this-car...e-of-a-highway

[GaryAngel]

I guess you could say her day should have gone in the ****ter. She would still be on loose if she had used the rest area.

[Fraze]

This story isn't worth squat.

[GaryAngel]

The puns that are going to show up here through out the day are going to be nothing but bad...

[acman]

Guess you could say she was in a $hitty situation.

[pGekko]

They called the sh1t poop.

[motorcityjoe611]

I love the quote, "I'm not trying to go to jail tonight."
Really? Because you're doing a really bad job of staying out.

[acman]

I love the quote, "I'm not trying to go to jail tonight."
Really? Because you're doing a really bad job of staying out.

Freedom, your doing it wrong! Lol