Flight 2599 was scheduled to depart Dallas at 5:10 p.m., but was delayed to 6:10 p.m. This was slightly irritating, but no one went off the deep end because it would now arrive in Jackson only one hour later. Beside, no one was about to go ski or go on a wildlife Safari to Yellowstone at 8 or 9 p.m.

Happily, at the designated time, we boarded the plane. We sat. And sat. And sat. After about a half an hour, a garbled midwestern voice came from the loudspeakers: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I'm sorry for the delay, but we were delayed two hours coming from Vancouver." He paused. "We seem to have a little problem. Our hydraulics are leaking and it wouldn't really be a good idea if we tried to fly that way. Not a good idea at all, I'm sure you'd all agree." He paused again. "So, the technicians are going to come and try and fix it, and we'll be off the ground as soon as they do."

Everyone remained absolutely silent.

"Also, he continued, "I've flown into Jackson many many times in my life -- I used to fly there all the time -- but I haven't flown into there in two years and it's a kind of tricky approach. So, before we take off, I'm going to go have to watch a video. It's required. I'm going to get off the Jetway now and I'll be back in 40 minutes."

"What?" the person behind me said. "Why didn't he watch it during his two hour delay in Vancouver. This is absurd."
Suddenly the Captain's voice boomed again on the loudspeaker, "Well folks, we seem to have a new problem. The left door just in front of the engines wont close and because its right in front of the engine, we don't think flying would be a very wise decision. I'm sure you agree, so we're going to go back to the gate and fix it."

Ten minutes later, we were still sitting at the gate. The Captain announced, "We're going to have two mechanics out there, and what they're going to do is take the door completely off, then put duct tape all around the edges. That's right folks, duct tape. And then they're going to put the door back on and that will keep it closed for our flight." No one said a word.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margie...tml?ref=travel